love is in the air...

in the air around me but not in the air i breathe in though hehehe...

to my 2 (recently, though one not SO recently) attached friends..... *hugs* i'm really happy for you two :D

and to cookies and bnbp! happy one year anniversary! bnbp.. i salute you heh... :P

humans are such scary creatures...

it saddens me that 5 years of going to school together... and in our midst, there are people who would do the things they do....

the scariest part is... we know not who these perpetrators are...

constant cravings...

i usually have the few snacks i crave when i'm studying...

a. normal seaweed
b. tau kay neo seaweed
c. hello panda (chocolate)
d. calbee/jack and jill potato chips
e. prawn crackers

but THIS TIME.. it's CHOCOLATES!!! darn.... the chocolate cravings that usually occurs once a mth is NOW a constant craving this exam period :'(

sigh.... one of the reasons i hate exam periods... it means putting on wt that i have to endeavour to lose AFTER exams are over.... over and above what i should be losing already anyways :(

BAH!!!!

chitty chitty bang bang

in a bid to get better seats, i've almost forgotten how enjoyable it is to watch a show on a day where it is a sold out crowd....

the atmosphere is electrifying and the energy is high.. best of all, cos tmr's a public holiday, the kids were out in full force, and this is one show kids would really enjoy... heh

the ingenuity and the liveliness of the whole musical made it enjoyable and relaxing...

i had a good time.. sans the painful heels... but what's new bah.. heh

next up! the chinese musical PY and i plan to watch heh.. :P that.. and/or jacky cheung's concert heh

i need to work to earn money for my expensive interests bah....

growing into my own skin...

and learning to be comfortable in my own skin....

we constantly strive to be a better person.. or at least i try whenever possible, not just because i want to be a better person, but because i am a child of Christ and have the potential to be as good as Him as long as i try and pray for His strength and help etc etc.... on my own.. it's not something that's well.. achievable...

it's not easy... to not care about what the world says... it's not easy to really just say "i've a clear conscience and hence it's ok".... so what if i have a clear conscience? when others who are louder say otherwise... i start doubting myself.. i start feeling bad..... my sister says that means i'm more humane.... and although i know one can never please the world... and it's God that we are meant to please and not the world, it's still not easy.... being comfortable with who i am and having that full confidence and security that it's ok simply because i have a clear conscience ....

i'm trying.. and learning.... to be a better person and being comfortable in my own skin and not try to be someone else so as to please the world .... and trying not to bother about what others say as long as my conscience is clear....

it's not easy.. no one said it would ever be... but at least i'm trying.. at least i'm trying to be comfortable with who i am and stop worrying at every turn about everything else....

i'm trying to grow into my own skin while trying to pad that skin so that i will have more defences and be less affected by hurtful things... while trying to be a better person with God's guidance and grace....

one can only pray and try.... can't they?

obligations...

what are they to you?

to me.... being an obligation to anyone is always a bad thing....and it rankles to be an obligation that needs to be satisfied.. just because...

lately.... i chanced upon a random blog which pretty much said that obligations are things that are so much a part of you and in your heart and something that does not require explanation as to why you choose to satisfy that obligation simply because you have that person on your mind and in your heart while you perform whatever you label as an obligation... (paraphrased in my own words more or less)

i wonder if it's true..... and while it would be nice if it were true.... and flashbacks and chidings from others point to the possibility that it's true.... i'm too much of a cynic to believe that it's true...

i wonder what happened to the idealistic me.... hmmm

血拼 = shopping!

so i went shopping.... which for obvious reasons is known as 血拼 in chinese tabloids... because you 拼命的出血 when you shop... bah... bleeding money.... hahahah

but since i figured this will be the last time i shop shop for clothes so to speak till 7th Dec.. again for obvious reasons.... it was.. erm... ok to spend the amt i did *sheepish* hahah

since it's the end of all our assignments! i figure.... it's ok to spend some money to reward myself right... hahahaha....

damage done: 2 dresses and 1 pair of earrings... damage done to bank account: enough to make me want to start working again.. BAH

and i tried on this red dress i quite liked but decided to not buy cos i dun think i have the guts to wear it to work.. hahah which is the only event which justifies buying clothes these days :P ( i know self delusion but it makes me feel better!) haha.. so.... i didn't get it.. but i'm still thinking about it... and i think..... if it's fated to be mine.... it will still be there 7th dec or later... if not.. i'll always find sth else i like :P

onesillylittlegirl

i didn't set out to lock the old blog as a means to keep the rest of the world out of my inner thoughts so to speak..... i locked it cos... that part of my life is over.... and while it was tempting to delete the blog in its entirety... i also couldn't part with the memories recorded therein... hence i locked the blog.. accessible only to myself.... for when i'm ever in my nostalgic moods.... heh

some things in life however, are best left forgotten... especially when it's beyond obvious that nothing means anything anymore... :D i guess that's life.. things that used to seem so important in the past... fade with time....

"我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道 你没有舍不得
你说你也会难过我不相信"

truth is.... i think it works both ways..... 一切真的只是曾经... in more ways than one...

i made those decisions... i chose this path....even if i regret any of those decisions.... they remain decisions in the past i cannot and will not change...

i dunno if the sillylittlegirl still exists or not but i guess... that girl will always be a part of me.. somewhere :P