2 days in Paris

Marion: It always fascinated me how people go from loving you madly to nothing at all, nothing. It hurts so much. When I feel someone is going to leave me, I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing. Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story. I really love this one. When I think that its over, that I'll never see him again like this... well yes, I'll bump into him, we'll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we'll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost. Always the same for me. Break up, break down. Drunk up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another, fuck around. Forget the one and only. Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well. There's a moment in life where you can't recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can’t live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses.

awwwwww.... sigh sad but true in a way...and just preceding these lines, was Marion summarising a 4 hour long discussion with her boyfriend Jack..... and it struck a chord of some sort.... saying what you don't mean but you say it anyway.....misunderstanding what the other party says and thinks the other wants to end the rls.... being tog for 2 years and realising at the end of the day, that both don't know each other .. and for two pple to really love each other and be tog etc they had to be honest with each other and love and accept each other with all their emotional baggage and flaws etc (something along those lines.. if someone finds the transcript for this part pls tell me thanks heh)...

in any case i think A and i both enjoyed the movie heh.... despite everything :P


*addendum*.. i found it! ok more like i transcribed it myself hahahahha :P here goes.... the lines that immediately precede the ones above:

Marion: To sum up the 4 hours of discussion that followed, it’s not easy being in a relationship, much less truly know the other one and accept them as they are with all their flaws and baggage. Jack confessed to me his fear of being rejected, if I truly knew him, if he showed himself totally bare to me. Jack realized after 2 years of being with me that he didn’t know me at all nor did I know him. And to truly love each other, we needed to know the truth about each other, even if it‘s not so easy to take. So I told him the truth which was that I never cheated on him and I also told him that I had just seen Matthiu that afternoon, [he] did not get mad at me because nothing had happened, of course. I confessed to Jack that the toughest thing for me was to decide to be with someone for good, the idea that, this is it, that this is the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. To decide that I will make the effort to stay and work things out and not run off the minute there is a problem is very difficult for me. I told him that I could not be for just one man for the rest of my life which was a lie but I said it anyway. He asked me if I thought I was a squirrel, collecting men like nuts to put away for cold winters, I thought it was quite funny, then he said something that hurt my feelings. The tone changed drastically then I misunderstood what he was saying. I thought he meant that he didn’t love me anymore and he wanted to break up with me.

confrontational... NOT

sigh... everytime there's some interlude or encounter i can't help but wish a confrontation would be forthcoming... my mind churns out the entire confrontation ie what i wld say etc.... but the point is.. i would NEVER EVER create a confrontation unless it is provoked.. and given how it has been this past 2 years..... no confrontation would ever be provoked in the circumstances....

it's frustrating.. and yet i dun think it quite matters.... it doesn't matter as much as it used to, it really doesn't bother/affect me except that i dun wish to be rude in any way which is kinda hard sometimes given the situation... but i won't deny that the need to purge the hurt he once created and throw it in his face is extremely tempting.... not that it'll ever happen .. sigh..

i'm a wuss bah

contradictory

you know the feeling where you want time to move really fast for all this to be over, and yet you want time to move really slowly because you aren't quite prepared for all that is to come? well yeah... that's how i've been feeling for the past while and will still feel for another few days.... but at least till friday....the "i want this to be OVER" resonates a lot more than the other heh