2 days in Paris

Marion: It always fascinated me how people go from loving you madly to nothing at all, nothing. It hurts so much. When I feel someone is going to leave me, I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing. Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story. I really love this one. When I think that its over, that I'll never see him again like this... well yes, I'll bump into him, we'll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we'll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost. Always the same for me. Break up, break down. Drunk up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another, fuck around. Forget the one and only. Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well. There's a moment in life where you can't recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can’t live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses.

awwwwww.... sigh sad but true in a way...and just preceding these lines, was Marion summarising a 4 hour long discussion with her boyfriend Jack..... and it struck a chord of some sort.... saying what you don't mean but you say it anyway.....misunderstanding what the other party says and thinks the other wants to end the rls.... being tog for 2 years and realising at the end of the day, that both don't know each other .. and for two pple to really love each other and be tog etc they had to be honest with each other and love and accept each other with all their emotional baggage and flaws etc (something along those lines.. if someone finds the transcript for this part pls tell me thanks heh)...

in any case i think A and i both enjoyed the movie heh.... despite everything :P


*addendum*.. i found it! ok more like i transcribed it myself hahahahha :P here goes.... the lines that immediately precede the ones above:

Marion: To sum up the 4 hours of discussion that followed, it’s not easy being in a relationship, much less truly know the other one and accept them as they are with all their flaws and baggage. Jack confessed to me his fear of being rejected, if I truly knew him, if he showed himself totally bare to me. Jack realized after 2 years of being with me that he didn’t know me at all nor did I know him. And to truly love each other, we needed to know the truth about each other, even if it‘s not so easy to take. So I told him the truth which was that I never cheated on him and I also told him that I had just seen Matthiu that afternoon, [he] did not get mad at me because nothing had happened, of course. I confessed to Jack that the toughest thing for me was to decide to be with someone for good, the idea that, this is it, that this is the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. To decide that I will make the effort to stay and work things out and not run off the minute there is a problem is very difficult for me. I told him that I could not be for just one man for the rest of my life which was a lie but I said it anyway. He asked me if I thought I was a squirrel, collecting men like nuts to put away for cold winters, I thought it was quite funny, then he said something that hurt my feelings. The tone changed drastically then I misunderstood what he was saying. I thought he meant that he didn’t love me anymore and he wanted to break up with me.

confrontational... NOT

sigh... everytime there's some interlude or encounter i can't help but wish a confrontation would be forthcoming... my mind churns out the entire confrontation ie what i wld say etc.... but the point is.. i would NEVER EVER create a confrontation unless it is provoked.. and given how it has been this past 2 years..... no confrontation would ever be provoked in the circumstances....

it's frustrating.. and yet i dun think it quite matters.... it doesn't matter as much as it used to, it really doesn't bother/affect me except that i dun wish to be rude in any way which is kinda hard sometimes given the situation... but i won't deny that the need to purge the hurt he once created and throw it in his face is extremely tempting.... not that it'll ever happen .. sigh..

i'm a wuss bah

contradictory

you know the feeling where you want time to move really fast for all this to be over, and yet you want time to move really slowly because you aren't quite prepared for all that is to come? well yeah... that's how i've been feeling for the past while and will still feel for another few days.... but at least till friday....the "i want this to be OVER" resonates a lot more than the other heh

love is in the air...

in the air around me but not in the air i breathe in though hehehe...

to my 2 (recently, though one not SO recently) attached friends..... *hugs* i'm really happy for you two :D

and to cookies and bnbp! happy one year anniversary! bnbp.. i salute you heh... :P

humans are such scary creatures...

it saddens me that 5 years of going to school together... and in our midst, there are people who would do the things they do....

the scariest part is... we know not who these perpetrators are...

constant cravings...

i usually have the few snacks i crave when i'm studying...

a. normal seaweed
b. tau kay neo seaweed
c. hello panda (chocolate)
d. calbee/jack and jill potato chips
e. prawn crackers

but THIS TIME.. it's CHOCOLATES!!! darn.... the chocolate cravings that usually occurs once a mth is NOW a constant craving this exam period :'(

sigh.... one of the reasons i hate exam periods... it means putting on wt that i have to endeavour to lose AFTER exams are over.... over and above what i should be losing already anyways :(

BAH!!!!

chitty chitty bang bang

in a bid to get better seats, i've almost forgotten how enjoyable it is to watch a show on a day where it is a sold out crowd....

the atmosphere is electrifying and the energy is high.. best of all, cos tmr's a public holiday, the kids were out in full force, and this is one show kids would really enjoy... heh

the ingenuity and the liveliness of the whole musical made it enjoyable and relaxing...

i had a good time.. sans the painful heels... but what's new bah.. heh

next up! the chinese musical PY and i plan to watch heh.. :P that.. and/or jacky cheung's concert heh

i need to work to earn money for my expensive interests bah....

growing into my own skin...

and learning to be comfortable in my own skin....

we constantly strive to be a better person.. or at least i try whenever possible, not just because i want to be a better person, but because i am a child of Christ and have the potential to be as good as Him as long as i try and pray for His strength and help etc etc.... on my own.. it's not something that's well.. achievable...

it's not easy... to not care about what the world says... it's not easy to really just say "i've a clear conscience and hence it's ok".... so what if i have a clear conscience? when others who are louder say otherwise... i start doubting myself.. i start feeling bad..... my sister says that means i'm more humane.... and although i know one can never please the world... and it's God that we are meant to please and not the world, it's still not easy.... being comfortable with who i am and having that full confidence and security that it's ok simply because i have a clear conscience ....

i'm trying.. and learning.... to be a better person and being comfortable in my own skin and not try to be someone else so as to please the world .... and trying not to bother about what others say as long as my conscience is clear....

it's not easy.. no one said it would ever be... but at least i'm trying.. at least i'm trying to be comfortable with who i am and stop worrying at every turn about everything else....

i'm trying to grow into my own skin while trying to pad that skin so that i will have more defences and be less affected by hurtful things... while trying to be a better person with God's guidance and grace....

one can only pray and try.... can't they?

obligations...

what are they to you?

to me.... being an obligation to anyone is always a bad thing....and it rankles to be an obligation that needs to be satisfied.. just because...

lately.... i chanced upon a random blog which pretty much said that obligations are things that are so much a part of you and in your heart and something that does not require explanation as to why you choose to satisfy that obligation simply because you have that person on your mind and in your heart while you perform whatever you label as an obligation... (paraphrased in my own words more or less)

i wonder if it's true..... and while it would be nice if it were true.... and flashbacks and chidings from others point to the possibility that it's true.... i'm too much of a cynic to believe that it's true...

i wonder what happened to the idealistic me.... hmmm

血拼 = shopping!

so i went shopping.... which for obvious reasons is known as 血拼 in chinese tabloids... because you 拼命的出血 when you shop... bah... bleeding money.... hahahah

but since i figured this will be the last time i shop shop for clothes so to speak till 7th Dec.. again for obvious reasons.... it was.. erm... ok to spend the amt i did *sheepish* hahah

since it's the end of all our assignments! i figure.... it's ok to spend some money to reward myself right... hahahaha....

damage done: 2 dresses and 1 pair of earrings... damage done to bank account: enough to make me want to start working again.. BAH

and i tried on this red dress i quite liked but decided to not buy cos i dun think i have the guts to wear it to work.. hahah which is the only event which justifies buying clothes these days :P ( i know self delusion but it makes me feel better!) haha.. so.... i didn't get it.. but i'm still thinking about it... and i think..... if it's fated to be mine.... it will still be there 7th dec or later... if not.. i'll always find sth else i like :P

onesillylittlegirl

i didn't set out to lock the old blog as a means to keep the rest of the world out of my inner thoughts so to speak..... i locked it cos... that part of my life is over.... and while it was tempting to delete the blog in its entirety... i also couldn't part with the memories recorded therein... hence i locked the blog.. accessible only to myself.... for when i'm ever in my nostalgic moods.... heh

some things in life however, are best left forgotten... especially when it's beyond obvious that nothing means anything anymore... :D i guess that's life.. things that used to seem so important in the past... fade with time....

"我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道 你没有舍不得
你说你也会难过我不相信"

truth is.... i think it works both ways..... 一切真的只是曾经... in more ways than one...

i made those decisions... i chose this path....even if i regret any of those decisions.... they remain decisions in the past i cannot and will not change...

i dunno if the sillylittlegirl still exists or not but i guess... that girl will always be a part of me.. somewhere :P

listen to your heart...

before.. you tell him goodbye...





*random oldie that appeared on my playlist... roxette! darn i feel OLD!*

一碗和豆腐汤 ...

送到 中关村北二街 水清木华园 1 号楼 1510 室


those were the days.... I MISS MY KOREAN SOUP TAKEAWAY!!! :P

i will starve myself for at least a day...

before i next got to Hanabi!!!!!

Although i ended up reallllly fulll and couldn't eat anything for almost the whole day the next day..... i'm strangely still SALIVATING at the thought of eating at Hanabi again heh...

yes W... IT"S GOOD :D YUMZ!

harry potter and the death hallows...

ok i know i'm slow and giam (stingy) heh... so i finally read the last book borrowed from PY cos i'm kinda used to reading harry potter books late and waiting till borders sells it for like 10 bucks before buying and reading it, but this one.. didn't quite want to wait so long hahaha...

anyway... i read it in one night.... AND..... had a burning qns! how in the world did neville get the gryfindor sword to kill nagini?!! wasn't it with griphook (the goblin)??!!!!!!!

and so i frantically msged PY this morning and she called back (amused i wld think hahaha).... and didn't know either bah.. hahahha.... and then a google search made me realise that.. i'm NOT ALONE in wondering about this.. and so the answer is....

"Neville was able to pull the sword of Gryffindor from the Sorting Hat because he was a true Gryffindor in dire need, and the hat recognised that as Godric Gryffindor originally intended. This mirrors what Harry did in CoS in the Chamber when he pulled the sword out to kill the basilisk.

JKR answered this question in the Bloomsbury Webchat on 30 July:
QUOTE
Su: How did neville get the gryfindor sword, is there a link to the hat
J.K. Rowling: Yes, there is very definitely a link to the hat!
J.K. Rowling: Neville, most worthy Gryffindor, asked for help just as Harry did in the Chamber of secrets, and Gryffindor's sword was transported into Gryffindor's old hat -
J.K. Rowling: - the Sorting Hat was Gryffindor's initially, as you know.
J.K. Rowling: Griphook was wrong - Gryffindor did not 'steal' the sword, not unless you are a goblin fanatic and believe that all goblin-made objects really belong to the maker."

from: http://www.leakylounge.com/betaforum2.3.1/index.php?s=6c08cb449dac0101d5950f871e278f60&showtopic=55653&pid=1436617&st=0&#entry1436617

have an urge to re-read ALL the harry potter books again because the 7th book requires you to remember a lot of the old stuff and ties everything up and erm my memory ain't THAT good heh.. but erm i put the books too high up and now have to pull the ladder up to my room hahaha.... ah we'll see... since i dun think i will have this kind of chance again once i start work proper... bah.. heh :P

maybe i'm just idealistic...

but i truly believe and want to continue believing... that one day, cancer would be like a flu virus... nothing to be feared really, and easily dealt with...

as it is... cancer has become such a commonplace thing in our lives.... we hear about this person or that afflicted with some form of cancer....

and so just like how flu used to be such a deadly and scary thing MANY MANY MANY years ago.. i'm sure.... cancer will be the same.....

maybe it'll only happen many many many many years later.... but this is a belief i hold... which i hope will come true

hindsight

it's a good thing my sis never wanted to continue her piano lessons after she got her grade 4... she would have failed the aural part of the practical exams...

me: so how was my piano playing just now? considering i haven't touched the piano in ages... heh
sis: it was audible.
me: no i mean like the touch and all etc...
sis: hmm... dunno... it sounded like the song loh

my piano playing is not THAT bad... i hope :P

dearest cookies....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

love,

milk

the art of being approachable

you know you have "hi i'm friendly and approachable, please feel free to ask me questions" printed all over my face (ok maybe it's too long to be printed on my face but you get the drift! heh)... when a trip to the market/supermarket and clementi in general is punctuated NON STOP with aunties asking me where the broccoli was from or how much were the lemons cos she couldn't see the small print on the labels, and this really sweet auntie who started teaching me how to choose cucumbers when i was picking cucumbers from the tray.... then came the non stop requests for directions ... and the pohpiah auntie my sister is afraid of who was as usual... very nice to me hahahaha....

it's kinda fun actually... not the waking up early in the morning though when i slept at 430am bah.. :p

because...

there are times when i'm just so honest to a fault that it's horrendously disturbing in my "chosen field of profession"... sigh

*an extremely bimbotic post alert*

so after 23 years of relative disinterest to the point of scheming and hiding to get away from the prying eyes of teachers before choir performances during sec sch days so that i'll get away with not having to put on make up .... i've gone into the phase of sudden interest in make-up hahahahahah

PY says my dressing table is like a make up counter, only better cos i have different brands of various items of cosmetics.. hahaha i try and try till i find the one that i love best.... and after the eyeliner and then mascara buying phase, i'm now into the blusher phase hahahaha

my dressing table is getting WAYYYY too crowded.. bah... and i'm getting VERY BROKE..... bah.. JH!!!! i've become a willing victim to consumerism tooo!!!!! :( heh

*warning* bimbotic post ahead

and so after feeling cheated by the announcement the Board put up... because when i happily went to the auditorium at 3.30pm the BOX WAS GONE! i walked around at Central (ie spent more money)trying to kill time so that it wouldn't look so obvious that i skipped lectures.. bah!

and as with all the shopping since work ended.... i only buy work clothes (ie clothes that can be worn to work be it dress down fridays or not heh)... in this happy delusional mode that makes buying work clothes more acceptable than buying casual going out clothes....

and now.... I WANT WORK TO START AGAIN... so that i can wear those clothes!!! ARGH.. stupid reason.. because i know i'll hate work once it starts.... but sighhh.. such is life heh

"rebirth is a piece of my summer"

i'm HIGH on CHEERS CHEN (Chen Qi Zhen)!!!! Had a fantastic time with Beloved at her concert (called Piece of Summer)... $140 for 3 hours straight of singing, 1.5 hours of sit down, relax and enjoyment.. 沉醉在陈绮贞的音乐创作世界里, and when she started jamming.. it was 1.5 hours of "Standing ovation" on the CHAIRS with NUMEROUS encores, long after the expo max pavilion had cut off the air conditioning! haha

It's been a long time since i had so much fun!!!! I'm HIGH, HAPPY, and in the "i want to buy all CHEN QI ZHEN's ALBUMS NOW!" mood heh.... Thanks Beloved! for the WONDERFUL time :D glad you liked your present..a unique creation from JOLIEAVENUE (www.jolieavenue.blogspot.com)... had fun chatting toooo hahaha.. it's been TOO LONG!

no photos though.. cos we thought it wld be as strict as indoor stadium about photography... BUT WE WERE WRONG!!!! BAH!!!!! hahaha.... so unless beloved's hp cam managed to take decent photos, there won't be photos of this concert ... but the memories.... will be enough :D

i somehow seem "new" at this blogging thing.. it's been very long too.. suddenly unused to blogging.. heh.... but hey.. rebirth is a piece of my summer... and in this country which has summer all year.... i'm looking towards my "rebirth" :P

the "rebirth" of a blog.. and.. my personal "rebirth" in many senses..... closing of chapters and opening of new ones....


CHEERS! (Pun completely intended :P)